Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Penguin Purple Catharsis Rant

January 14, 2010

I made this four years ago.
Enjoy.
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Now, there are many retards out there who don’t know how to spell supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Well, I think that catharsis should cure it all. Catharsis means release, and that means taking a dump, and if your shit is purple that means you’re fucked. Penguins are fucked too, by other penguins. They make little shit-coloured penguins. Then a bear comes and licks the honey off the penguin. I like sugared honey. With peanut butter. But not purple peanut butter. The guttering in peanut butter is made from a plastic called PVC: Penguin Very Chocolate. Chocolate from Madagascar is 75% or 65%. I live in Madagascar during the holidays. I am a cocaine dealer in Madagascar. Penguins take cocaine. That’s why they aren’t purple. But lemurs aren’t purple either. Because lemurs shit cocaine. That’s why I have so much cocaine. But I never buy crocodile shit because crocodile shit smells like shit. And shit is very smelly. So are elephants’ knees. But elephants don’t eat purple peanut butter. I eat peanut butter, so my hair is very long. But it’s not purple hair. Purple hair has a low boiling point, and so does cocaine. That means if you take methane and put it into a penguin it turns into a lemur and shits out cocaine. Then I export the penguins and they become elephants. Then a dingo comes and eats the elephant. Dingoes shit purple. So if a dingo fucked a lemur, they would shit purple cocaine but that smells like shit. Fractional distillation is a process to separate shit from penguins, lemurs and dingoes. Usually if you use it to fuck elephants you end up with peanut butter. And then the peanut butter turns into purple shit and you then take that shit and inject it into an ostrich and you get something fucked up, purple and addicted to cocaine. Usually a dingo. But if it’s a purple dingo, then it can’t be an elephant’s knee, so it won’t be smelling like shit then, would it. If lemurs were purple AND they ate peanut butter with shit, they get French accents, which mainly consists of putting random penguins in the English flag: peanut butter, cocaine and crocodile shit. They all eat lemurs. The way to drive away a French-speaking lemur is to smear treacle and crocodile shit on the English flag, not penguins and elephant knees. When a purple dingo shits on a lemur, and it then swallows a penguin, then a bear comes and licks honey off the English flag. And peanut butter turns to purple shit and an ostrich comes and spontaneously combusts and reincarnates as a mango. Mangoes like penguins but not lemurs because they are allergic to cocaine, like I am allergic to scissors. Purple mangoes aren’t allergic to cocaine, but only purple cocaine because mangoes are distantly related to dingoes. The English flag is also distantly related to dingoes. So their offspring is purple shit you smear treacle on.

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Sokal, take two

June 24, 2009

Since the previous publication, I realised there are some concepts I failed to take into consideration:

Firstly, the castration of hegemonic pyro-stoicism in relation to social reconstructionist unleavened homeopathy; next the supra-diegetic orthodontics of the Newtonian archaeopteryx, and finally temporal dialectics of a heteroclite pan-amputated maquis matrix. To regard this, furthermore, from the perspective of the anamorphic carburettor insubordinates intra-inertial hippocampi of the Arthurian ultra-non-linear polysemic impersonation, and the photo-urbane signifier and signified, requires a modality that alimentary counter-binary negative gearing simply is unable to syntactically categorise. Now, there has been a paradigmatic receipt of arachno-ideological dissemination across delta-epsilon morphemes in the iconic as well as ambi-inferometric public sphere, ignoring the 180-degree rule of illusion of choice and megalo-subjectivity, and transubstantiating the interdependence of naturopathic espionage in chauvinistic vertical lethologica.

Nevertheless, certain olfactory inflections have rendered null the previously augmented triads that pejorative diaphragmatic super-neutrality eschewed, ignoring the semiotics of Flaubert and camembert, and the dermatoglyphics of hydro-dominant mesophase angles. Compare however indoctrination of standard deviation in crypto-deductible auteur terminals with the isomorphous syllepsis found to have been multi-fossilised by economic determinism in certain calypso Higgs-Boson diegeses – this will make evident the dualism in circum-duo-hypozeugma of refractory morphological ethers that synaesthesia and imperialism presupposed in scepticism: thus spake Zarathustra.

OPPRESSIVE LACANIAN CRYOGENIC FORMULAE AND THE GASTROENTEROLOGICAL CONSEQUENCES OF POST-MODERNIST HYPER-LINGUISTIC ICHTHYOLOGY.

March 21, 2008

zomgmouse leads a discussion on post-Freudian string theory, but nobody follows.

The main aspect of deconstructing post-Freudian string theory in terms of pseudo-altruistic Marxism is perhaps the democratising impact of illusionary radical-Cartesian neurology on the clinical wavelengths of the ego and super-ego, together with the concept of the geographically deterministic philosophy of oppressive hyper-poststructuralist calibration. However, post-Modernist, and indeed neo-xenophobic empiricism must be taken into account.
Affirming the presence of quantum absolutism in regular sub-misogynistic Socratic apparatuses, one must extensively undermine intrinsically discombobulating Lacanian cryogenic formulae. Yet it may catastrophically seem to the evolutionary post-colonial caricaturist that intelligent, or even figurative ichthyology cannot be attracted to pre-Palaeolithic Romantic patriotism.
In order that one be able to command the hyper-linguistic gravitational Darwinist criticisms of surrealist matrimonial experiment, it is repeatedly necessary that neo-idealist transformation and to a lesser extent pre-feminist existentialist dynamics be formulaically distressed. The interconnectedness of epistemological paraphernalia can thereby be socio-economically linked to neo-pre-Historicism, and in effect chromatographic-Descartes psychoanalysis of the gastroenterological consequences of post-symbolic approbatory colloquialism of faux-abstract and subjunctive relativity. In essence, what is inherent in schematic industrialist androgyny is the hyper-naturalistic corroboration of Pascal’s ostensibly institutionalised space-time, evident in his ‘pluperfect-progressive phallic probability’ theorem.
There is also the fatalistic issue of the neo-Capitalist gravimetric totalitarianism in conjunction with necrophilic portmanteaux evident in the Platonic ‘traditional-revolutionary chimera’ tautology. Thus, what we ultimately receive is a utilitarian-colorimetric tegestology constituency, verging on absurdism.

    Sources

Sokal, Alan, Transgressing the Boundaries: Towards a Transformative Hermeneutics of Quantum Gravity

Zomg Mouse!

August 17, 2006

Hello and welcome to The Adventures of Zomg Mouse.

This blog thing will be about Zomg Mouse (the picture) and me (me).

Having fun yet? Nope, me neither. Bla bla.